Let Go Your Heart
by Luvspook
Summary: Songfic set around David Gray's Babylon. When Heero is faced with losing Relena to another man, will he be able to let her go, or will he finally admit his true feelings? Please read and review...


Disclaimer: I have no legal right to Gundam Wing, the G-boys, the G-girls, or David Gray's kick-ass song. However, I make no claims to own themjust to love them! So, please don't sue me.

Author's Note: As always, I start really getting into one story and a new idea goes and gets stuck in my head. My sister got me totally hooked on this song, and the first time I heard it, I knew what needed to be done. BEWARE: FLUFF AND SAP AHEAD.

And as a side note to Kristine, I know I said I'd never do this*gulp* happy ending stuff, but I caved in, I sold out, CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL!!! But just know, it's merely a momentary lapse in reason. 

Let Go Your Heart by Luvspook

(Songfic based on David Gray's Babylon)

Months had passed since the Mariemaia incident.

Months, that for Relena, had been full of press conferences, peace talks with the space colonies, and endless other duties.

Months, that for Heero, had become little more than a painful reminder that neither of them would ever be free of the obligations of maintaining peace.

Like parents coddling their newborn baby, peace had become just as fragile, and no one bore that responsibility more loyally than they did.

As he watched her, day after day, fulfilling the promise that he had sworn to live by so long ago, his heart grew heavier.

She had been the face he had wanted most to forget, yet she was the one who constantly plagued his thoughts. 

Even after she had found someone else

It had been at one of the many fundraising efforts sponsored by the delegation that she had met him, too polite to turn down the gentleman's invitation to dance.

Now, only a mere month later, the invitations had been sent, and as Heero tore the small handwritten envelope open, he could feel the heart he claimed not to have, shatter into pieces.

_Friday night I'm going nowhere_

_All the lights are changing green to red_

_Turning over TV stations_

_Situations running through my head_

Heero slumped back against the couch cushion, casually tossing the remote control to the top of the coffee table, as a knock sounded on the front door of his small apartment.

He let out an audible groan as he heard Duo's unmistakable voice yelling from the other side.

"Hey! Come on, open up alreadyI know you're in there."

Heero sighed as he lifted himself to his feet and strode slowly to the door.

Duo knew the news had already arrived the moment the door flew open. 

Heero was standing in the doorway, barefoot and in faded blue jeans. His cobalt blue shirt hung on his shoulders, both untucked and unbuttoned, and judging by the dull look in his eyes, Duo had quickly come to the conclusion that he had been drinking.

"I see you started the party without me!" Duo joked, weakly, as Heero turned and walked back to the couch without so much as an invitation to Duo to come in.

"So, I guess you heard the news?" Duo said, plopping down into the ottoman at the opposite side of the room.

"Yeah." Heero deadpanned, as he resumed his search for anything on TV that could take his mind off Relena.

"So, that's it, huh? You're not even gonna"

Heero knew what Duo was asking, and silenced him before the words could finish leaving his lips.

"What exactly is it you want to hear?" Heero asked, bitterly. "What do expect me to say?"

For once, Duo was momentarily speechless.

"She'll be happier this way. That's all I ever wanted for her"

Finally finding his voice, Duo bolted upright, jumping to his feet in frustration.

"What is it with you? You've fought every battle imaginable, against the worst possible odds, without so much as a thought for your own lifebut, you're seriously gonna stand there and tell me that you won't fight for this! Come on, you two are the ones who should be getting married. You have been crazy about that girl since the moment you met her, and I know that she feels the same about you!"

Duo's ranting came to an abrupt halt as Heero vaulted to full height, his eyes and face contorted in anger.

His fists were clenched at his side, the knuckles turning so white that Duo thought the bones would break. 

He was entertaining the thought that he would be forced to defend himself against his friend and fellow Preventer, but at least welcomed the thought that Heero did indeed have feelings.

He swallowed the small smile that was about to come to his lips, savoring the fact that he had just pushed the Perfect Soldier's buttons.

"I'm taking a walk." Heero stated, coldly, his face returning to the impassive mask that it had when Duo first arrived. "Do yourself a favor and don't be here when I get back" 

The chill in the night air was nothing compared to how he felt inside. 

He felt defeatedand for the first time in what seemed a lifetime, truly lost.

Before he had realized it, he had come to the familiar beach that had marked the first of many encounters with the young Vice Foreign Minister. He hadn't welcomed the thought of her then, but found a sad smile crossing his lips as he remembered waking in her arms that day.

_Well looking back through time _

_You know it's clear that I've been blind I've been a fool_

_To open up my heart to all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule_

Absentmindedly picking up a handful of the fine, grainy sand, he let the wind steal it from his weak grasp, scattering it further down the beach. His thoughts turned to her, once again, as he looked across the vast black swells of ocean before him.

"Goodbye, Relena"

* * * * *

Hilde, Catherine, Dorothy, Noin, and Sally had been setting up for the party for the better portion of the day, laughing and giggling like schoolgirls as they hung balloons and streamers. 

With only two short hours to go, they had each scurried off to get ready. 

The press was early as always, hoping to catch a few pictures of the soon-to-be happy couple, the moment they arrived.

Guests from the delegation and Preventer Group had sporadically arrived throughout the course of the evening, excited to have an invite to the media event of the year. 

Trowa and Catherine, and Quatre and Dorothy had arrived together, followed by Wufei and Sally Po. Zechs and Noin were greeting guests at the door as Duo and Hilde arrived, fashionably late as usual.

Duo was in high spirits, until he realized that Heero had not come as he had hoped. Adjusting Zechs's bowtie in an effort to get the usual rise out of him, he winked at Noin noticing her attempts to stifle the laughter.

Hilde didn't miss the look that had crossed Duo's eyes, though, and gently pulled him closer.

"Heero's not here." Hilde whispered.

As if seemingly on cue, Heero appeared in the doorway, much to Zechs's discernible displeasure. Duo made his way back to the entrance as he noticed Zechs grab Heero's arm, preventing his entrance.

He arrived just in time to hear part of their exchange.

"She's happier than she has ever been, Yuy. Seeing you here will only upset her."

"Zechs stop it!" Noin growled, harshly, pulling at the arm that was restraining Heero. 

"What are you so afraid of, Zechs?" Heero whispered, tauntingly.

"I'm warning you, Yuy. If you do anything to hurt her"

He didn't need to continue. If Heero had learned anything from his run-ins in the past, it was that Zechs was relentless. He would fulfill whatever threat was made, even if it killed him. 

"Hey, Heero! You made it!" Duo called out, enthusiastically, pulling him into the room as soon as Zechs released the death grip on his arm.

Shuffling through the crowded room, they quickly grabbed a place at the bar, beside the other Gundam pilots and their guests. 

Heero downed the first drink with intent, as Duo tried to convince himself that his best friend would be okay.

_Saturday I'm running wild _

_And all the lights are changing red to green_

_Moving through the crowd I'm pushing_

_Chemicals are rushing through my bloodstream_

Heero had just finished his third drink when the sounds of clapping caught his ears, and he turned to see that the guests of honor had just arrived.

He ordered another

Relena scanned the crowd with a smile, spotting her friends almost instantly.

_Duo's braid is always a dead giveaway_ She whispered inwardly, as her and her fiancee pushed their way past the reporters and into the crowd.

Zechs did his best to distract her, in the hopes of steering her clear of the bar where he saw Heero sitting, but the flood of delegation members crowded around her before he was able.

"Thank you all for coming." Relena said, with a genuine smile, moving through the crowd.

Her fiancee, Ben, leaned over close and planted a small kiss on her cheek as the paparazzi moved in for a picture, before proceeding to drag her onto the dance floor.

"Are we having fun, yet, darling?" He asked as he caught her eyeing the crowd over his shoulder.

"It's a very extravagant party. I wasn't expecting quite this large of a turnout." She whispered.

The pit of her stomach lurched as she realized just how big of a lie it truly was. She had been searching for _him_ since she had walked through the door.

_You have to forget about him, Relena_ She chided to herself, smiling at her fiancee, the man she barely knew, that she was trying to force herself to love.

He knew that she didn't love him. In fact, she had told him as much, but he had somehow managed to convince her that if they could be together, that love would come later. Until then, he had promised to be patient. 

That small faith alone had been enough to convince her that maybe he was right.

She was shaken from her reverie by the faint touch of lips against her own, and pulled back in surprise.

"What was that for?" She asked with a weak smile, trying not to sound upset by the uninvited kiss.

"You just looked so beautiful that I couldn't resistI'm sorry." He whispered, apologetically.

She blushed, unintentionally, at the compliment before feeling the gentle grip on her arm.

She turned expecting to find her brother, or perhaps Duo. Perhaps anyoneexcept him.

Her previously rosy cheeks blanched as their eyes met in a flurry of sapphire and cobalt blue.

He took advantage of her silence to lean over, placing a lingering kiss to her cheek, before pulling slowly away. 

"H-Heero?" She stammered, seemingly flustered by his sudden appearance. 

_Did he see Ben kiss me?_ Her mind and heart screamed, in unison.

"I wanted to congratulate you, Relena." He said, though his eyes told her a different story. 

"Thank you, Heero." She whispered, her voice struggling to push the words out.

His eyes turned from hers, briefly, searching out those of her dancing partner instead.

"Take care of her." He said, almost threateningly, turning to face Relena once again. "She deserves the best."

She felt her heart breaking apart as she looked into his face, listening to the words that endeared him to her even more.

Before she could speak, he was gone, walking to the door, and out of her life for the last time.

"Heero, wait!" She called after him, breaking into a run, just as he pushed his way outside.

The rain was coming down in hard and unrelenting sheets that perfectly matched his mood.

__ His mind whispered, as he searched for something to take his anger out on. A brick wall would just have to do 

__

_Only wish that you were here_

_You know I'm seeing it so clear I've been afraid_

_To tell you how I really feel admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made_

He heard the faint sound of a door opening, of high heels clicking along the pavement, but didn't fully understand the sounds until he heard her voice, calling his name.

He was sitting on the ground, soaking wet from the rain, and bleeding heavily from several open gashes along the knuckles of his right hand.

Obviously, he wasn't overly concerned about either, right now.

"Heero?" 

He looked dazed, like a lost child, as their eyes met.

"Relena?" 

__

_If you want it_

_Come and get it_

_Crying out loud_

__

_The love that I was giving you was never in doubt_

She couldn't hide her concern as she ran to his side, and knelt down to look at his hand.

"You're hurt" She whispered, feeling the distinct splintering of broken bone slide under her fingertips. 

"It doesn't matter." Heero replied, numbly, before pulling his hand from hers. "I don't feel, remember?"

She didn't like the tone of his voice, his cruel remarks cutting into her like a freshly sharpened knife.

"If you came here to upset me" She started to say, and was surprised when he turned unexpectedly, and pressed his lips against hers, silencing even the thought from her mind.

__

_Let go your heart_

_Let go your head_

_And feel it now_

__

_Babylon_

As quickly as it had begun, it had ended, and Heero pushed away from her, running his uninjured hand through his disheveled, rain soaked hair.

"I'm sorryI didn't mean" He struggled for words as she recovered, feeling years of frustration overloading her senses.

"Is this all I'm good for, to you. Every time you come into my life, it's thrown into chaos. What did you come here to achieve tonight, Heero? You stand in the way of my happiness without you, but you won't allow me be happy with you. What do you want from me?"

He could hear the tears in her voice and felt his heart twist painfully inside his chest.

"I-I don't know what I want. I don't know what to say. All I know is that if you walk out of my life now, the only good thing that I have ever had will be gone. I can't expect you to understand me. I don't understand myself. But I know that something in me died the day I saw that invitationsomething that I can't get back without you." 

She felt her heart stir at his words, the outpouring of his soul conflicting with the fact that in two weeks she was supposed to be marrying another man. 

_Why did you do this now, Heero?_ Her mind screamed out, bitterly.

"Damn you, Heero!" She screeched as the tears flooded her eyes. "Damn you for putting this on me, now of all times. Does it give you that much pleasure to hurt me like this!?" 

He couldn't utter a response as she turned and ran back to the party, leaving him standing alone in the rain.

* * * * *

Two days later, Heero was almost done packing, prepared to leave Earth and return to L1. The only things he had left to do was turn in his resignation at Preventers Headquarters and say a few good-byes.

Duo had been the only one Heero had confided in about his plans, fairly certain that with Duo, word would travel fast. 

He threw the last handful of items into a small duffel bag, before glancing at the time. 

_An hour left before my shuttle leaves_ He thought to himself, as he grabbed his leather jacket to take a walk. _It may be the last time I see the Earth in awhile_

_Sunday all the lights of London shining_

_Sky is fading red to blue_

_I'm kicking through the autumn leaves _

_And wondering where it is you might be going to_

He hadn't seen or heard from Relena since that night, and their brief exchange still struck chords in his mind.

_Turning back for home_

_You know I'm feeling so alone I can't believe_

Time had escaped him as the thoughts of that night replayed over and over again in his head, and as he glanced down at his watch, he noticed that it was almost time.

He hadn't spotted the familiar pink car at the edge of the block

Hadn't really noticed anything at all, until he started up the dim stairwell to his apartment.

_Climbing on the stair I turn around to see you smiling there in front of me_

The keys fell to the wooden steps with a clatter as he saw her.

"Relena"

_If you want it_

_Come and get it_

_Crying out loud_

_The love that I was giving you was never in doubt_

"You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?" She said, playfully, the hint of a smile crossing her lips.

He struggled to find words, but nothing came to mind, as he stood there, soaking in the detail of the moment.

"Are you going to say anything?" She whispered, worriedly, her thoughts turning to the last words she had spoken to him. 

_Maybe he hasn't forgiven meMaybe he doesn't want me_

_Let go your heart_

_Let go your head_

_And feel it now_

Time seemed to stop as he ascended the remaining steps, pausing when he was right in front of her, his eyes meeting hers, as though he didn't believe that she was real.

"Heero, please forgive methe things I" She started to say, stopped short when both of his hands cupped her cheeks, tenderly, guiding her face to his own.

He could feel his body tremble slightly as he touched her, the fear and apprehension trying to hold him back from actions that the Perfect Soldier would have deemed a mistake, and brought his lips to her own. 

_Let go your heart_

_Let go your head_

_And feel it now_

__

_Babylon_

This time it felt right

He felt alive

He was whole again.

END

Okay, I know it was really longand I'm sorry, but I hope you liked it. **And that fluff and sapand **blech** kissing. I don't know WHAT I was thinking. Anyhoo, please review! **


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